Wow is this post #4 in one day?

We're on our last full topic of the year in chem: electrochemistry. We have the quiz on Monday, one guest lecture on polymers, and review session on Friday. And it's striking me that electrochemistry was covered quite shabbily in high school. We've covered some entirely new things, like equilibria, and improved upon the math or the versatility in others. But I understand oxidation-reduction a lot better conceptually than I did after my high school chemistry class, though we ostensibly covered it.

I should look at my old thiosulfate report! It's pretty similar to the iodine experiment we just did.

It just gets better and better

I just looked at the tag on my Reed T-shirt, and it's 100% bamboo fiber.

How cool is that? I didn't even know!

The internet is a double edged rusty old machete

('Cause swords are so passe)

Apart from the obvious reasons (lots of information, but lots of distractions), the internet is something I love and I hate with respect to homework. On the one hand, online homework is nice because you get instant feedback - if you've done something wrong, you find out right away and can fix it instead of waiting a week for someone to messily and in-a-hurry grade it. On the other hand, these programs are just algorithms and not smart human beings, so you get stuff like the following:

"I'm trying to get webassign to fix the algorithm. Your concentrations give the correct equilibrium constant when you plug them into the equilibrium constant expression, which is the best way to show that they are correct. If I can't get webassign to fix the algorithm, I'll check all the answers to 10 (e) manually and give you credit."

"For #9 there is also a rounding issue. Webassign takes the [Ag+] concentration and rounds it to two sig figs before using to find [PO₄^3-] and Ksp. Note: this is NOT the way I would like you to do calculations on quizzes and the final and in general!!! You should carry an extra sig fig or two through your calculation and round at the end."

WebAssign is not usually this bad, but Webwork, the program we're using in math this term, has one or two problems with typos or that otherwise need to be removed almost every problem set - and its notation is very inconsistent.

We're at a rather awkward place with technology and I'm not sure if forward or backward is the direction I'd prefer to go.

Reed College is so nice!

They sent me unexpected goodies! And the letter was rather sweet... they started off with "now that you're a Reedie" and ended by saying farewell from the admissions office, we're handing you off to all the other offices now.

And now I've got TWO water bottles - one to leave at my desk and one to carry with me!

A whole bunch of random stuff

My aqua screen on my computer is getting worse, probably as a result of tweaking the screen so many times trying to see if the software remedies worked. I'm glad HP is repairing the computer for free, but it would be nice if this weren't happening right at the end of the term. I'm going to try and see if I can put off sending it to them until after school; if not, I ought to at least do the Chimera modeling assignment for my last lab report, because I'm not sure the school computers have the program.

Today there was a block party on the field between pretty much all the dorms that are served by my area desk. It was really hot, though not quite as hot as yesterday, and it was fun to drink coffee, eat a pastry and people watch and listen to the music. Before that I had been setting isopropanol vapors on fire and trying to calculate the rate of shadow movement in front of my dorm when Dancing Physicist came by. So he started trying to solve my math problem, realized it was just like the problems he was taking a break from in his engineering homework, and then we went to the block party where I did the above and he investigated the workings of one of those bouncy blow-up tumbling things. It turns out there was a track meet going on at the same time; he bolted when they announced a 4 x 400-meter relay. I got over there in time for pole vaulting. Then we went for a run and I really challenged my aerobic capacity, and it was really hot - it was great.

I have realized I really need some new clothes. That's reason number about three that I want to make money this summer (the first two being food and classes). Very few of my clothes fit right - a bunch seem to be too baggy or shapeless, and other tighter ones that used to fit well don't even go on. It's kind of paradoxical because it seems like the ones that are too big also used to fit better. My theory is that they're all just getting old and losing their shape and elasticity, but that I haven't actually gotten appreciably smaller. I think I've gained 10-15 pounds since moving into the dorms, but since I had lost 5-10 pounds fall term, that's not huge net change since when I bought most of these clothes. Running may be changing my shape, however.

If I keep running and also bike everywhere and buy my own groceries during the summer, I hope I can get nice and fit in the next couple of months.

This is hell, this is hell I am sorry to tell you...

(It never gets better or worse)

I just spent a goddamn hour on the phone with tech support trying stupid software solutions before they finally figured out it's a hardware issue which my dad predicted right off the fucking bat.

I'm going for a run...

Frances Farmer will have her revenge on Seattle

Probably the only song I keep on a playlist solely for its bridge. The verse music and lyrics are okay, but not nearly as good as similar stuff I have. The bridge on the other hand, is one of my favorite guitar riffs in Nirvana. Almost comparable to that in Smells Like Teen Spirit.

Also on this playlist are some new favorites from the 90's compilation Edward sent with me over spring break: The Distance by Cake and Pepper by the Butthole Surfers.

Okay, stuff needs to start happening again

Goodness gracious, it's not even noon yet!

This morning I've already read the article my philosophy professor removed from the syllabus because it was "difficult" and she was getting behind the reading in lecture, washed my face, walked to Hamilton to get breakfast, checked my email, investigated PCC classes, made a blog post and watched some funny videos online. How can it still be this early?

I'm now caught up on my philosophy reading through Wednesday plus the one we skipped. I've drafted a few sections of a lab report my professor hasn't assigned yet. We've had no new material in math or chemistry since the last quiz in each. I can't believe how sparse of homework this weekend is.

This summer

I am coming back to Portland this summer. I don't want to stay in Eugene, I want to go back to my family and friends and stay in the little house and be back home. But if I do nothing productive this summer, I'll regret not staying in Eugene to do research. If I do something interesting in Portland instead of research, then I'll be fine. So I'm thinking of taking class at PCC - maybe engineering. Something I probably won't get around to taking at Reed, but which might be good for my brain. This puts even more pressure on to get a job, but I don't know even know how to start going about that. Is there anything I can do from Eugene or will I just have to scramble once I get home?

Wait, WHAT?

I've been out of home, out of high school, out of "childhood" for essentially a year now.

How'd that happen?

Uh oh

I have discovered a serious problem.

Organic chemistry and Humanities both have only one lecture section, and they're at the same time.

Chemistry all over the place

So it seems that suddenly I haven't updated in almost a week. Interesting stuff that's happened recently:

A girl in my chemistry class has a tattoo of serotonin on her foot.

About a week ago Williams sent us an email saying he'd graded a few of our iodine reports and they were "a step backward" for most of us, but one person he graded got 169/175. Since I came in with a complete draft almost a week before the due date and got his personal feedback on it, I wondered if I might that person. I wasn't, but my TA gave me 168/175.

I didn't get into research at PSU, which I found out in an annoying way. Having waited over a week since what I thought was the notification date, I went back to the website to make sure I was right about it. They had posted a notice to the effect of "we've notified all the people we accepted" on their blog. Because a blog is SUCH an official conduit.

I've been running in my fancy new running shoes, aiming for 4 days a week. Monday and today I ran in the afternoon in the sun.

I'm coming back to Portland on Friday, June 12th. I don't know how I'm going to make money to buy food in Portland, but I'm not feeling like research is a good enough incentive to keep me away. I need to find a way to make money and something interesting to do, though, that's for sure.

Philosophy

Tomorrow I have a philosophy midterm, and it's making me nervous. For our last midterm, I felt like I studied well, but once the exam was underway I felt completely unprepared. Yet I got a very good grade. So I really have no idea how I should study for this one.

It's sad that this passes for radicalism

Yesterday I went to the EMU convenience-store "market" to buy pads. I'd prefer to get a bigger package than they have, and I'd also like the option of rejecting the "light, clean scent" that "discreetly tells [me]" their "odor neutralizers" are working. Really, I'd like to make my own (or buy one of those moon-cup things), but I haven't gotten around to that yet and it's the sort of thing where when the need arises, I don't necessarily have the time to take a bus out to West Eugene and shop at Fred Meyer.

So I go to the market and buy pads. They ask me if I want a bag. This would be a completely normal question, except for the fact that it happens every time I buy pads and almost never otherwise. The implication being that I would want to hide my purchase. Why? I mean, apart from their "light, clean scent," but I don't exactly expect passerby to read the 8 point font from a distance. I can only conclude they expect me to be ashamed on some level of my menstruation. Well fuck that. I'm a woman, sometimes I drip blood from my vagina. Deal with it.

In other "radical" news, I made this flyer last night and seeded some around the food areas on campus this morning.

Children

I watched House last night, and the dramatic endings of the last two episodes got me thinking about things I've liked and disliked about this season in general. One thing that has bugged me is how they only focus on one or two subplots at a time, and when they're "done" they simply disappear from the show. One such subplot is Taub's life, and so I was thinking about one of the last things we heard from him - a conversation with his wife about kids.

Taub's wife doesn't want kids. She didn't want them at the beginning of their relationship and he agreed to that and she still doesn't. Taub is apparently having some doubts. As I said this hasn't had any consequence in the show since the conversation was shown, but it got me thinking. Myself, I've always wanted a child and I've never changed my mind or doubted that. I don't think I even ever made up my mind about it; it's a desire I remember myself as just always having. On the other hand, many people my age don't want kids; I don't know what their thought processes have been about this. Others aren't sure. I know very few older adults without children, and the ones I do, I don't know if they want children.

The essential question I wonder, then, is what kinds of experiences about this are most common? Most particularly, how much do people tend to be certain about the issue, as I've been, and how much does it tend to be something they don't know at first and eventually decide? How often do people hold one attitude for a long time and later change their mind? I'm sure there is also a contingent of people who never consider the fact that it's a choice, and just have kids because that's what people do, though this is surely a shrinking population at least in the industrialized world.

Keys

Something silly happened to some people down the hall from me yesterday. Apparently they have a problem with draftiness blowing their door shut. One of them got locked out that way the day before. When you get locked out, what you do is go to the area desk and they give you a spare pair of keys, which you have to return in two days. So the first person got locked out, borrowed the spare keys, and hadn't returned them yet. Yesterday, they both step outside the door at the same time, neither one with their keys. The spare keys are also in the room. The wind locks them out again... so they go to the area desk together. The area desk only has one set of spare keys for each room. Incidentally, this means they are now locked out of the whole building. It's not hard to get back in though because people go in and out all the time. This is when they came into my room and told the whole story to my roommate, additionally revealing that they had some ice cream out and would really like to get in and save it.

Now if I got myself into that situation I wouldn't have any clue what step to take next, but apparently the RAs have further solutions to this; unfortunately, the RA and FA weren't in. Luckily, the FA passed right by our window at that moment and called up to my roommate, who excitedly told him what was going on. He went with the locked-out people to "knock on every RA's door in Earl" or something like that. I returned to my instant messaging with LS. A minute later, Dancing Physicist appears outside the window and stares up pointedly, so I open my window and he simply says "conversation please." (There's a backstory to that but it's not important.) I go downstairs to let him in and go sit in this little room next to the door that has no apparent purpose, but is always open and contains a table and chairs. We begin talking... and after a few minutes, the FA and the locked-out people appear. They come into the room and the FA unlocks a box on the wall that has more keys in it. We watch in interest, and when they go upstairs I explain to Dancing Physicist what's happening. Momentarily they return. The FA puts the keys back, and asks one of the no-longer-locked-out people how the ice cream tastes. "Good," she says.

No homework

Boy, was this the right weekend to go to Portland. This week, we had midterm in math so there was no homework. In lab, there was no assignment because last week's experiments didn't work due to an old batch of enzyme - this week, there should be some sort of workup but he hasn't given us instructions yet. So I got entertained by my other chemistry and for fun worked through some of the problems before they were covered in lecture. Naturally, I finished that homework quite early. I've got so little to do over this weekend, it's the perfect time to go home. It worked out that way purely by luck though; I couldn't have predicted how light this week was going to be.

Today I was finished with class at 10am, and all that homework I would normally be doing is Friday homework. So today's been especially boring and I'm about to go browse through the lecture notes my professor posted.

Some more reflections

A paragraph I wrote to my grandpa in an email, summarizing what I've digested about the track to my degree at Reed:

The chemistry major naturally covers many of the same subject areas as the major at University of Oregon, but in all departments their classes look somewhat accelerated, so that there is left at the end a few fascinating advanced courses. I've also looked at the Chemistry-Physics interdisciplinary major, which covers the foundation classes in both chemistry and physics and goes deeper into detail in one or a combination of the two, with also some extra math. It's a pretty "big" major so I'm not sure if it's feasible at this point (I also need to fulfill distribution requirements, haven't started taking physics yet and I'd like to take some biology) but I'll look into it and see if a switch is worth it. It seems like studying abroad is now a long shot since I won't have a lot of breathing room with my credits. Taking more than four years to graduate isn't something I'm intrinsically opposed to, but I won't be eligible for financial aid after six semesters at Reed if I'm given sophomore standing. If I either got less credit transferred than they estimate and was given freshman standing, or if more of my classes were counted for distribution requirements than they estimate, it would help.

And something I realized mid chat-conversation earlier:

My last two favorite teachers have connections to Reed. Paula used to teach there, and Williams was offered a job but they didn't have a position for his wife; UO offered his wife a job and did have a position for him. So that bodes well for Reed professors.

The fabled confetti-filled envelope

At least, fabled to those of us who spend most of our social time with someone who got into Reed and didn't go...

The fabled, expected, longed-for, twice-sought-after letter arrived and with it a credit transfer estimation and a financial aid award. I was a bit worried about aid, but they're giving me lots of money. Out of an estimated cost-of-attendance of $51,900, $120 must be drawn from my own resources and $3500 is offered in loans. Holy shit. Not only am I in, but I can afford to go and that's really not that much debt on the scale of student loans.

I couldn't be more excited about this!

What happens in your liver when you drink alcohol

Figure 1: the active site of alcohol dehydrogenase. The catalytic zinc ion is coordinated to three amino acid side-chains in the protein and to the ethanol substrate. In the body, ethanol is subsequently oxidized by the electron transport molecule NAD; an inactive structural analogue is pictured here.

We modeled ferritin last term with a program called DS Visualizer, but my downloads were buggy and I had to use someone else's computer at the last minute. This time we're using a different program called Chimera which works on my computer, to model alcohol dehydrogenase. LS also said he found a similar open source program called Avogadro which I'd like to check out.

I GOT INTO REED HELL YEAH! (+ a little bit about the weather)

Good god. I get to go back to school in Portland. I get to extract myself from this average-cross-section campus in favor of a campus full of wicked smart weirdos. I get to go live in a divided room.

Good god. I'll have to read the Iliad this summer. I'll have a ten week summer after last year's sixteen. I will have to completely give up screwing around and work my ass off.

This. Fucking. Rules.

(except for the part where I have to figure out how to pay for it... not looking forward to that mess)

Speaking of Portland, I'm coming next weekend, to arrive about 5:30 on Friday.

Last night it rained. It was warm even at 1:30 in the morning, and the precipitation evolved from a light sprinkle around seven to, at 1:30 AM, a fifteen minute deluge like the one I was caught in with Senor Evergreen the weekend of Halloween. A sheet of water traveling down the sidewalk was a good half-centimeter deep and the pool gravity pulled it into might have been a half-foot. Now it's wet and still fairly warm and it smells nice.