The times they are a-changin'

The landscape is green again, the water is liquid, the skies are intermittently sunny, and my estrogen levels are back on the rise. I spent a weekend with my dad, talked to LS last night, made some progress with getting new glasses, and found that an internet problem I had was with the router rather than my computer.

I'm not sure what I'm doing tonight, but I seem to have an open slate for today, so we will see. Again I'm being hit by a sensation of no plans, even though it's not really the case. But 2008 was such an anticipated, glamorous year that I really didn't spend any time thinking about 2009. It's like "okay, I turned eighteen, graduated high school, had my crazy teen summer, and made my first term of college - now what?" It's almost a relief, like now I can just get on with life.

Cabin fever

After three months of school living on my own, followed by five exciting days on the East Coast, being snowed in at home is rather unwelcome in its quality of drastic change. Every time "White Christmas" or "Let It Snow" comes up on Pandora, I mentally growl at it. Who says we've no place to go? I've got places to go!

(My personal favorite Christmas song is "Santa Claus Is A Black Man." I pretend it's got something to do with Obama.)

Yesterday I finally got to holiday shopping. It was amazing to get out. And as frustrating as the snow is, it seems to bring out the best of Portland in people who are out and about. I saw a guy offer a ride to some people waiting for a bus (undoubtedly a late one) and some pedestrians help push a car that got stuck in a driveway.

Today however I was struck with severe disappointment when stupid Kaiser told me I can't get my glasses prescription because the center where I had my last eye appointment is closed by the weather today. I just want to get a new pair of glasses before school starts again, and going out to check out frames was going to be my entertainment today.

And the last other person is leaving the house, so I really have to find something to do.

Biologists join the force!

http://xkcd.com/520/

What did us chemists ever do to you? I guess we'll just have to ally with the geologists to make it even...

Plus: Erlenmeyer flasks as drinking vessels = awesome. I want one.

Part D: now what?

I'm finally across the boundary into that no-plans void. Term's over, grades are done, Reed decision is finished. Right on schedule, crazy shit is happening and Portland is tripping me out. The perfect antidote? The ability to completely make it up as I go. I went to yoga today - haven't been back in two years. I'll have to keep making up weird stuff to do, to counteract the fact that I have no school routine to contrast with the spectrum of chaos that other people create for me.

Part C: things go a little nuts

Then PDX drama ensued.

LS, my high school boyfriend, went missing from school. His mom called me trying to figure out what was going on - I had no ideas - and then he came back, and she texted me this morning saying he's okay. Now he's not coming back to Portland for the break - he's going to go stay with one of his college friends in Florida.

Senor Evergreen is "taking a break from romance" because he feels like he doesn't know how to be happy without it. Good for him, getting straightened out. LS came to the same realization a while ago but failed at executing the break. It makes me think about myself - do I have this problem? I truly think I don't. I have had romance in my life almost nonstop for quite a long time, and I do want it currently. But there have been brief periods where I didn't have any, and it didn't bother me. I was happy with my life.

Part B: good school news

When I got back to Portland, I heard good news: my best friend got into Reed!

I also saw my final grades and they are as follows:

A CH 224H
A CH 227
A MATH 251
A- WGS 101
P* DANC 184

GPA: 3.91

The P* means it was only offered pass/no-pass. My GPA means I'll be on the Dean's List, which should be good for my own application to Reed.

Part A: trip to the East Coast

First off, a ton of trivial funny stuff happened:

- Between leaving Eugene and arriving in Hartford was about 24 hours; I spent only about 12 hours in Portland.
- This was my first airplane trip since turning 18 and needing government issued ID.
- We drove on I-84... in Connecticut.
- In NY it was 64 degrees. On some steep stairs, I was walking around in a tank top in December.
- Meanwhile, it Portland it was snowing.
- Our return flight was early enough, and we were east enough, that we got up at midnight in PST.
- I saw a bird, a little sparrow or something, inside the Newark airport.
- And my mom would like to inform Portland drivers that they have nothing to complain about and should go try to drive in New York.

We went to a wedding dinner, the wedding ceremony and brunch, dinner with the parents of the bride, and a day in New York City.

The dinner was the night before the actual wedding ceremony, which we all really liked because all the friends and family of the couple got to know each other. All the people there were interesting, but the best was meeting the bride (our friend's) parents. She is my stepdad's childhood friend, and he has told me so much about her parents, I really wanted to meet them. I felt I connected with them quickly and it was odd, because we had never met before but have this whole set of people in common.

After the wedding, we went to New York for a day. We rode the subway, had a picnic in Central Park, and spent most of the day at the Museum of Natural History. The museum is really, really big - a place where you can go time after time and not get bored, unlike OMSI, my other beloved science museum. In the mineral room, I was looking at the chemistry of some of the minerals and there were old, weirdly arranged periodic tables with eight groups and "B" groups for the transition metals. There's also a ton of stuffed animals in displays with excellently rendered background, and we went to the dinosaur room.

It was really fun. But by the end, I was definitely glad to be going home. Back to stability, or so I'm hoping. Things have been going a little nuts since getting back.

Finals

I feel pretty good about my finals. My math went pretty well - there were one or two problems where my answer seemed suspiciously simple, though I couldn't find anything wrong with it, but I also finished one of the bonus problems and got partway on the other. Add to that the amount of little mistakes you'll make even when you think you've done 100%, and it seems like I'm looking at something in the 90s, as usual.

Chemistry also had two problems where the answers seemed suspiciously the same, but I think I did really well. I felt better about this test than either of the midterms, on which I got 91 and 96. I think it's possible I even got 100%, though not likely - but I think it's quite plausible I topped my previous 96. We'll see. My average on everything else is really high too - I calculated that if I didn't even take the final I would still get a C, and if I get 100% my class average will be about 97%. I don't want to hope too much, but it seems potentially possible to get an A+. If I did, it would mean a lot to me.

College vs. high school

I just realized that the mood of the end of the term is completely opposite in college and in high school.

In high school, the end of the term tended to be really stressful - big projects to work on, often assigned at the last minute, most people turning in piles of late work, and all the little homework assignments continuing alongside the portfolio projects.

In college, everything slows down and gets calm at the end. There are finals, but no classes the week of finals. There is hardly any homework due the last week classes run. You have time to study and review what you've learned, cement it in your mind.

Life is funny lately, it seems to slow down and then jolt forward again. The last few days have been spare of things to do, very relaxing or boring, depending on how I feel. But tomorrow, after an interminable bus ride, suddenly I will be in crazy-rushing-around mode again - packing, getting up early in the morning, going through an airport and spending several days on itinerary.

Between the chemistry exam and mid-afternoon I spent some time with Dancing Physicist and I enjoyed it, but it was a little sad because I don't know when I'll see him again. He showed me around the dorms a bit, which is nice since I'm moving in next term.

I don't know what this break is going to be like either. I've gotten some plans laid out for winter term (and as well I should have) but these couple of weeks, after I get back from the East Coast, are still a blank. It's kind of terrifying, but exhilarating to know that no matter what happens it will be unexpected.

Stability

Thinking more on the change/stability thing, I seem to be a stabilizing person. I realized that both of my best friends right now have, at some point, called me the only constant in their social lives.

Change

I realized that although I thrive on stability, I also require periodic change. When I moved into my room, I took pleasure in filling up, making it cozy. After moving almost all my stuff out of it today, I'm equally happy with the change. I tend to change my hair in some way about twice a year, and each time I change schools I feel some relief at being stripped of most of my social connections, even though I immediately go about trying to make new ones.

I guess it goes back to what I was talking about before - change defines stability.

Condom clothing

Check it out:

http://blogs.dailyemerald.com/photo/2008/12/07/latex-fashion/

And take a closer look at the one that says "Latex Fashion 18" when you mouse over it... :)

I liked this event because everyone who modeled just volunteered and there was no screening process - so it was full of real-sized bodies. There was one ethereally skinny model but most were curvy and womanly as you can see.

Final grades

So theoretically I can start viewing grades today, as soon as they're submitted. Obviously, my math and chemistry grades won't be submitted until after I take the final exams, but my WGS, dance, and lab grades could be up anytime now.

I don't expect WGS to be up for a while; after all, my GTF has to read 60 5-page papers, turned in last Thursday and Friday. Dance should be a short wait, because there's very little to grade and it ended on Tuesday. Now lab, I'm not sure about. It's not posted yet, but the final exam results are available on Blackboard (I got a 95). Unfortunately, that doesn't give me enough information to calculate my grade because the class is curved and I don't know what my TA's average is.

Also, a problem from my very last math assignment: "The rate (in mg carbon/m³/h) at which photosynthesis takes place for a species of phytoplankton is modeled by the function below, where I is the light intensity (measured in thousands of foot-candles)."

I can do the math on the function, but WTF does any of that mean? Really, foot-candles?

Last classes, moving, and SAD

My lab practical exam that I was looking forward to so much turned out to be really really boring. I thought identifying chemicals would be fun - and it was in some cases, but I underestimated just how long four minutes is when you've got nothing to do but stare at the bottle of ammonia in front of you that took ten seconds to identify. Also, I was disappointed that they didn't include LiCl as one of the unknowns. I wanted to see that brilliant magenta flame again.

The last chemistry lecture, though, was awesome and amazing. There is a running joke in our class that indigo isn't a real color, so when we got a slide about color absorption and I asked what the difference was between violet and purple, the prof took the opportunity to bash indigo. "What have they replaced it with?" he asked, and I'm not quite sure the question makes sense, but it doesn't matter because someone answered him "Pluto." Then at the end of the class, our professor sat on the table, took out a guitar, and played a song about sodium and chlorine in the ocean. It was FANTASTICALLY my style.

So next week I have two finals, and then I'm coming back home only to turn around and the next day go to the East Coast for a wedding. Here's the thing: I need to get all my stuff out of my room before I do. That means I have three basic options:

1. Move all my stuff back to Portland, and then move whatever's necessary down again when I move into my dorm.
2. Store the stuff I want for my dorm in Eugene, and move the rest back to Portland.
3. Store everything in Eugene, and send what won't fit into my dorm back to Portland later.

I will have to talk to some people before I know what I need to do. It may be that I won't have access to a car on the day I need it to move stuff back to Portland and I have to take option 3, but even in that case I need to bring a box of clothes (and hopefully my bike) on the bus because I will need them for the break.

In other news, my seasonal affectedness grows every year. I used to function obliviously to the weather. Then freshman year of high school, I started getting frustrated and down in the spring, but feeling a lot better on sunny days even though I wasn't a big fan of the sun. This year, it's only December and I already feel AMAZING every time I see direct sunlight. But as soon as it goes away life seems strangely unstriking.

Health

Senor Evergreen got diagnosed: he has mono. I feel so bad for him - he is such an energetic person that it will suck for him to have to mope around and rest for so long. But if he doesn't, he'll just be sick for longer.

My mom thinks that weird illness I had at the end of freshman year was mono, but I'm skeptical. My immune system is good, but I'm not convinced it's kick-ass enough to reduce what's supposed to be a month-long illness to ten days.

Speaking of mom, happy birthday.

Winter term housing!

I definitely have university housing for Winter Term. This means I can now turn my attention to getting my stuff out of my room. I won't be able to fit as much stuff in a dorm room as my current one, so I'm going to have to take some stuff home, such as my full mattress, as well as finding storage for the things I'm going to keep in Eugene. I might also try to reduce my total quantity of stuff, and deposit some off-season clothes in Portland.

My lab practical is tomorrow, as is the due date for my final WGS paper. So after noon on Friday, I have no academic obligations until next Wednesday and Thursday. This means I have four whole days to clean up my room and figure out where everything is going to go. I like how finals week works out that way.

I love Portland

I love Portland and this Thanksgiving break was awesome. It was like my Halloween weekend, except longer so I didn't have to plan anything. I knew before I even left Eugene on Halloween what I was doing pretty much every hour of my time that trip, but this time it was exactly the opposite - I didn't even know how I was getting to the east side of town until the bus pulled into Union Station.

I loved wandering around town, seeing all the old places. When I walked from Senor Evergreen's house up to Woodstock to catch a bus to Sellwood, I stopped in at a bubble tea shop where I used to go with my high school boyfriend. I went to one of the parks near my house and climbed The Tree, the first of many trees I've discovered for climbing since the age of fifteen or sixteen. It's funny, I don't actually remember when I found it. I've just known it for a while now.

Thanksgiving was different. We didn't go to our family friends' house like we have for the past many years. We ate at home, with my grandma who just moved to Portland. It was weird and a little sad not to be with my best friend and company, but at the same time, it was a lot like Thanksgivings in the past, and reminded me of when I was younger.

I brought some shoes back that felt really comfortable yesterday, but after walking around campus all day in them, one of my feet hurts and a preexisting issue in the other is unimproved.

I just called Senor Evergreen today and he's still sick. He'd already been sick several days before the break. First the doctors thought he had strep; then tonsillitis. Now I guess they're back to not knowing. It reminds me of House, and that's not the most comforting thought to have about a friend. He's not going to go back to school until he's better, which I think is a good idea (dorms are nasty petri dishes), but it's awkward because it's right at the end of the term. So I'm worried about his health, and I'm also worried about his school stuff.

I don't know why I'M not sick. I spent a ton of time with Senor Evergreen, I was in a different city, and I made contact with someone from yet another place - Tacoma. But of course life is ironic and I'm perfectly fine. Knock on wood.

Winter term classes

I registered for my 10 credit core, which is scheduled for more or less the same times as this term. Chemistry is still first thing in the morning MWF, lab lecture is Monday at 3 with lab section midday Thursday, and math is still MWTF although it is at 1 o'clock instead of 11.

I also registered for WR 123 and PHYS 162: Solar and Renewable Energies. The latter sounded like a perfect match to my practical interests in science and it is first thing in the morning too but on TR. Environmental studies and anthropology, two others I was strongly considering, were full but more importantly were huge (300-500) lectures. The freshman seminars all say that their cap is 0 and therefore they're full; I was going to ask about this at the registrar's office, but then thought if I figure out how to register for them I'll be more undecided and I don't want that.

I wanted to take WR 122 actually, but all the good sections were already taken, leaving only morning sections that interfere with my core 10 and evening sections that are waaaay too late. I got the best writing section I could, which still runs until 6:20 two days a week. I'm hoping that after some people drop stuff I can get into something earlier in the day, and preferably 122.

Pi, pi, mathematical pi

http://www.vvc.edu/ph/TonerS/mathpi.html

Dude. It's short, but hilariously awesome.

Different ways of pursuing relationships

I've been thinking and talking to some people, including Dancing Physicist and the ex-info desk guy (he quit), about romantic relationships. (Actually, that's silly to specify. Those are the only two local people I talk to about anything that isn't academic.) I've noticed there are two fundamentally divergent ways people think about them. Some people go "relationship first." They think about having a relationship, and if they decide they want one, then they think about what kind of person they want to be with - what kind of person fits into the relationship they want. Others, like me, go "person first." I meet people and get to know them, and if I have an attraction/connection to someone that makes me want to be with them, then I think about what a relationship with that person might be like and if I want that.

I said these are fundamentally divergent views, but I acknowledge that I haven't always behaved this way. I dated people in 7th, 8th, even 9th grade that I wasn't especially interested in, but I wanted to be dating people (well, "dating" for whatever it's worth in middle school). I attribute this to just the impatience of that age. At that point in life, it was an experience I needed to get under my belt. Now, it's something I can engage or not at my leisure, for whatever reasons I choose. So, I think that my attitude now is who I really am. Relationships (of whatever variety) arise out of the interactions between people, so it doesn't make sense for me think about a relationship as if it were an object that can be considered separately from a specific person. To use a nerdy chemistry metaphor, it's like talking about p orbitals in a hydrogen atom - you can do it theoretically, but the orbital doesn't actually exist until it has an electron to define it.

Self-defense

I just remembered something else interesting I did, which is that I took a three-hour self-defense class yesterday. Apparently there have been some assaults against women on campus recently and so the university offered this free class. It was pretty fun and I enjoyed the opportunity to be loud and aggressive.

This weekend

I'm appreciating the academic structure of this week and weekend. We just had midterms, so there isn't any homework posted for math or chemistry right now. That means the extent of homework this weekend is two papers: a lab report due on Tuesday or Wednesday (I can't remember but hopefully I'll finish it early enough that it doesn't matter) and my final project for Women's Studies, which actually isn't due for two weeks, but I ought to start now. Plus the reading for lectures tomorrow.

And I know that on Wednesday, I'm back to Portland again. So it really feels like this couple of days between midterms and Thanksgiving is just some leisurely housekeeping. Speaking of which, I ought to do some actual housekeeping today. The shower's been looking a little dirty; maybe I'll clean it.

Daylight Savings Time

Apparently Obama might get rid of Daylight Savings Time:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/20/opinion/20kotchen.html?_r=1&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

Well, I'm convinced. I always thought DST was silly and kind of a pain in the butt; if science says it doesn't actually save energy then I'm all for getting rid of it.

Blood, Civil War, Portland and the void beyond

I donated blood yesterday. I've wanted to for a long time, but I think I came to that decision before I was old enough and then I sorta forgot about it/didn't know where to go. Anyway, there was a blood drive going on this week in anticipation of Civil War and that's how I got to finally doing it.

By "in anticipation" I mean it was called the Civil War blood drive, but the game isn't actually until next weekend. I doubt that they predict injuries at the game severe enough to warrant an anticipatory blood drive in that sense.

I was going to go to Civil War, mostly because some of my Portland friends from this summer with OSU connections think it's a great excuse for a party. Now those "friends" don't talk to me, but I thought I might see if I could find SOMEone to go with and go anyway in order to experience a crazy big-school football game. I was going to wear a shirt with a platypus on it.

But fuck that. It's next weekend and I'm not spending Thanksgiving weekend anywhere but Portland. My Wednesday morning class is in session, but not my afternoon one, so I'm arriving around 4:30 Wednesday afternoon and leaving at a similar time on Sunday.

After that, it's really not very long until Winter Break - there's only one more week of classes and then finals. Then, we're past the point that I have plans for. I don't yet know where I'm living after I get kicked out of this house. I don't even know when registration is for winter classes, let alone what I'm trying to register for besides my 10-credit core. I don't know about any events next term. I have no earthly clue how Winter Break is going to play out either. I always have plans and structures of ideas for the future in my head. And maybe everything will catch up in the next couple of weeks. But I think I'd like it if I come home for Winter Break and say "okay... I have no idea what I'm doing now. Let's roll."

Winter term

Dancing Physicist isn't as sure about transferring as I thought he was, and I'm not sure what I'm doing for next term either. I have a nonnegotiable core of ten credits - chemistry, lab, and calculus - but the remaining 4-8 credits are up for debate.

I'll be continuing in calculus and honors chemistry. I'm hoping to take the advanced lab next term, but either way it's a two-credit lab with lecture at three on Monday, so until I actually get to registration I'm not worrying about that.

For the remaining credits, then - one thing to consider is I want to take a writing class this year. I don't have to take it winter term, but that's what I was planning for a long time. The geography class I thought was scheduled for next term actually isn't even offered this year, so that's off the table. The other thing I was thinking about was a freshman seminar - there are a couple of cool-looking ones. There are also many courses marked in my guidebook that I thought would be interesting. They include a selection from anthropology, psychology, environmental studies, and probably some others but the book is really long and I didn't want to look through all of it.

Today though, I learned about another opportunity which would replace all of that with a 6-credit bundle. I am taking women's studies currently in a class of about 100 from a professor, with GTFs leading 25-person discussions. In the next two terms, I learned, the GTFs will each teach a class of about 25 and students who've already taken the class will facilitate even smaller discussions. I could apply and if chosen, I would get 4 credits for attending the class and facilitating the discussion, plus 2 credits for an attached class on pedagogy.

It seems like WGS facilitation would be interesting, challenging, and a unique experience. The problem is it precludes me from taking writing or any electives. I wanted to explore a lot of topics and broaden my mind this year - taking women's studies in the first place was a step in that direction, but continuing to focus there would be contrary to my purpose.

Now that I've thought about it a bit, probably the best course is to take electives this term but keep considering the WGS option for spring term. Still, my thought on it is far from finished.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is next week. I definitely had the impression that it was further away.

Portland has more to consider every time I go back. My grandma will be there now, and at Winter Break, everyone who went to college will be back at once. And to think that after that peak of craziness, there are still two terms of my year left. Life is weird.

Eugene means more to me now

Señor Evergreen came to Eugene this weekend. I showed him the cool places on campus, and he showed me the places he used to go when he lived in Eugene when he was younger. I met his older brother and one of his old friends - they both live in town.

We went to a hip-hop show at a pizza place that his brother was in. Their sister accompanied him for a few songs, which I thought was really cool. Not only is she an incredibly talented singer (and the brother, a talented poet) but in the midst of endless twentysomething dudes, it was awesome to see a twelve-year-old girl go up and give a great performance.

I remember one time when I was a lot younger and I drew a picture with my mom and stepdad the same height, and I recall being unable to distinguish a significant difference even when they pointed out that they're not. Well, the height difference between them is similar to the difference now between Señor Evergreen and me, and he is way taller than me. When he was showing me where he used to live, he told me the field next to the apartment complex seems much smaller now that he remembers it. That reminded me of when I was in Fairbanks two summers ago and visited a park I used to go to. Same thing - it seemed tons smaller. It's funny how your body size affects your perception of size of everything else, even if you try to correct for it.

I just remembered today that my grandma moved to Portland. I missed her by just a few days when I visited a couple of weeks ago, so she must be there now. I'll see her when I go home next.

I want to make some more progress in learning how to drive.

A last note on my friend's visit. When I saw him in Portland a couple of weeks ago, I was taking time out of usual life to go somewhere else and do unusual things. Even when we both lived in Portland, I usually went to his house in the way south of town to hang out, and he almost never came to mine. So it felt different to have him at my house, and think about the fact that this is where I live. The same places we hung out this weekend, I go every day. Our friendship hasn't taken place "at home" from my perspective before, and I needed to readjust my mind to think: when he has to leave I don't need to go anywhere - I'm already where I'd be anyway.

Kilowatt-hours are so unnecessary

WHY do we measure energy in kilowatt-hours? A watt is a joule per second. Energy divided by time. You multiply that by time, and you're back to energy again. Why don't we just use the SI energy unit, the joule? One kilowatt-hour is 1000 x 60 x 60 = 3.6 megajoules. I could understand if it were simply a different system, like feet vs. meters, but watts are derived from joules so there is no reason not to convert back.

Particle waves are WEIRD

Chemistry lecture lately has been covering the structure of the atom, and with it a ton of detail about electrons and their orbitals. Much more detail than in high school. And electrons being particle-waves makes them self-contradictory to the point of meaningless abstraction. They are particles with mass, things with a constant identity that doesn't get absorbed into anything else when they are transferred. Yet they are also three-dimensional waves, with undefined, probabilistic volume and routine overlap. So really, electrons are complex probability functions with mass.

It makes the whole world seem like special effects. Special effects in movies are images created out of nothing - made up by technological manipulation without the thing they represent even needing to exist. But what is our entire existence? Particle-waves! We perceive matter as having a fixed location, and color, and so on. But really, it's particle-waves of energy interacting with particle-waves of matter, bouncing off and interacting with more particle-waves that finally go back into the brain and give us an impression of "reality." None of it really differentiated. The order we perceive in the world is not really there, except in a mathematical, probabilistic sense. And in order to keep hold of THAT having real existence, you have to imagine math without numbers, because numbers are just artificial constructions. It's possible, hence the existence of the universe - but totally different from what we pick up with our five senses.

Part III: Addendum to part ii, and change

There was a quote in something we read for WGS and it went something like this: "No woman truly believes she has great legs. And if she suspects she might have great legs, then she is convinced she has a shrill voice and no neck."

In context with my improving comfort with my body, I consider that idea of "great legs." If you'd asked me before, at the end of the summer, if I had great legs - I'd probably have said "well, not really. They're alright, but not great." Now it's like the meaning of the question is lost on me. I consider my legs and can't give an answer. What makes legs great? They're my legs. They're able and fairly strong; I'm glad of that, but how does that relate to the adjective "great?" I don't know. Don't really care.

Dancing Physicist is transferring to the University of Idaho so he can change his major to engineering. It made me think about change, and how change actually reveals stability. Graduating from high school, moving for college and losing touch with most of the people I used to know seemed like a huge change. But really, it kind of "cleaned off the glass" and showed who is really important and solid.

I made some guesses about it, and some were right, but some were wrong. Mostly, I was wrong about the number of people I would stay in contact with. During the six months or so before moving (the end of senior year and the summer), I probably would have said I had 5-10 friends at any given time, 3-4 of them close, and a bunch of familiar acquaintances. I definitely expected to stay in touch with five or six people. What has actually happened is I've remained close with two people (excluding family) and keep distant contact with one more. There are some people I know who came to U of O, but nobody I would expect to keep in touch with had they gone to school elsewhere.

Part II: Recent thoughts

I've come to feel a lot better about my body lately. I think this is due in part to taking women's studies and realizing where society influences me even when I don't think it does, just because it influences many women so much more. Once I see where an idea comes from, if it's a ridiculous reason (like many societal norms) then I'm the sort of person who can just get rid of it. Ironically, this has resulted in me getting closer to some of my previous dysphoria-driven goals. When I started to pay more attention to how my body felt from the inside, I realized I felt better when I ate less and in a certain way - and now the external measure of my weight is creeping slowly downward.

But there's something else, too, and I don't think it's related to women's studies. Something is happening to my face. I feel more beautiful lately, and not by some predefined standard but simply that I feel like it works the way I want it to. When I look in the mirror, it looks like how I see myself. When I smile, it looks like I'm smiling and not grimacing at a bad smell. When I don't smile, I look pensive rather than grumpy. When I frown, I look sharply disapproving and not petulant. I hardly think about my misaligned teeth anymore. I used to think they were the thing messing up all my expressions before, but they haven't changed. Neither has anything else I can identify. I don't know where it's coming from but I hope it persists.

Part I: why I haven't been posting

I haven't been posting as much the past couple weeks because I have had a ton of homework. My math teacher assigned a huge volume of problems for the past two assignments, which aren't really difficult, but are complex and therefore time-consuming. Also, in chemistry we've suddenly gotten into stuff I don't know from high school - first thermodynamics, and now a bottom-up, historicized explanation of the structure of the atom. There was also another women's studies paper, which I think I posted about briefly.

On the other hand, lab has been really fun these past two weeks. We were doing "identification of common chemicals" which will be the basis of our final practical exam. This means we got a basket of reagents and glassware each and 40 chemicals were available around the room. The task: make enough observations to distinguish all the chemicals from each other when they are unlabeled. The homework: make a flow chart to use during the exam. Only 20 chemicals will be chosen for the exam, and I hope lithium chloride is one of them because it has a beautiful, brilliant magenta color in a flame.

I've also been re-acclimating to a certain extent after coming back from Portland. I'm pretty much good now, but last week it was hard to focus on school because I was thinking about Portland and the people there a lot. I called my best friend (who really needs a blog name but I still can't think of a good one) and it felt good to talk to her. I think we can relate to each other a lot lately.

Muffins

Wow! So I was kind of hungry, given that I didn't really make up for my truncated breakfast at lunch. I went downstairs and looked for a snack, and I chose a muffin because it looked good. As soon as I took a bite of it I thought "wow, this is really rich." I looked at the nutrition facts, and saw "Serving Size: 1/3 muffin. Calories: 220."

A seven hundred calorie muffin? What the hell?

It's really more like a dessert. I might finish it today, but definitely not until later.

Rough morning

I awoke this morning from frenetic dreams. I dreamed of C and D exam grades, of eating a restaurant meal with too many of the people I've been attracted to recently... yet with little enough angst to provoke thought upon waking. As I awoke naturally, it dawned on me that it was Wednesday - meaning I should have been jolted awake by the alarm.

I leapt out of bed and checked my phone, which told me I had about twenty minutes to get out of the door. I quickly ruled out the possibility of a shower and focused on getting clothes on my body and my notebooks and computer into my bag. By the time I was done I had no time to cook for breakfast and merely grabbed a tortilla on the way out the door.

The chemistry lecture contained too many equations and was presented in exactly the opposite order from what would have been best for my learning style. I rushed out afterward and bought a yogurt for breakfast part 2, then grumbled to Dancing Physicist about the lecture. I turned on my computer to do math homework - then realized there was paper homework I'd forgotten about, due in 50 minutes. I'd also left all my pencils at home somehow - an ominous portent in the face of math homework for someone who constantly makes simple calculational errors.

Somehow, though, it all worked out. Dancing Physicist loaned me a pencil and helped me FOIL an expression I was having trouble with, after which I finished in 35 minutes, leaving me ten to get to class. The math professor lectured on stuff that I find obvious, and then there was the quiz. I had some difficulty with one problem, but I kept on trucking, knowing partial credit is always possible. Amazingly, he allowed us just enough extra minutes for me to finish the problem. I headed off to lunch with no more issues than I'd expected last night.

Music videos

For my next women's studies paper, we have a choice to critique either a selection of music videos or a print advertisement. I'm choosing the music videos, and have so far found the following: popular music lately SUCKS, and most of the videos don't deserve the question "what's wrong with this" but rather "what ISN'T wrong with this?" For an example, I refer you to Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl."

Also, whoever is in charge of direction of the "above the influence" ads should contribute their gifts to the world of art and entertainment. (Yahoo music, where I'm doing my research, shows an anti-drug advertisement before most videos.) Although the content of the ads is vague and not very convincing, they are creative and more entertaining than most of the videos they precede.

OBAMA WINS!!!

Today's issue of the Daily Emerald naturally featured articles and opinions on the election. One humorous writer took the linguistic metaphor of "at the wheel" and expanded it to a metaphor of the "America Bus." He noted that "George W. Bush hasn't so much been driving the America Bus as repeatedly crashing it."

You wouldn't think that would be anything striking to point out, but it did strike me. All my teenage years - my years of political awakening - have been spent under George W. Bush. Ever since my parents marked their 2000 ballots at FuJin, I have grown up watching two businessmen - a moronic failure and a corrupt success - drive this country into two recessions, mishandle two wars, one initiated under false pretext, and re-elect themselves under circumstances of plausible (some would say likely) electoral fraud. I've understandably come out of this with the feeling that presidential politics are about fending against evil and stupidity.

How exciting, then, to have had the choice I did this election! To vote for a charismatic, idealistic leader whose election represents a smashing blow to one of our most peevish glass ceilings, and a smart-as-hell veep. Candidates, an entire ticket I actively liked. It was such a painless victory, too. One of my friends suggested Bush would declare of a state of emergency and stop the election somehow. My stepdad predicted drawn-out recounts. Everyone wondered about the Bradley effect. Yet by the time Oregon polls closed, Obama already had 220 EVs. A countdown to eight o'clock, and then CNN declared his victory, swept up by the West Coast. Minutes later, McCain was giving a concession speech.

I'm so excited to keep up on the news and to see what this duo does. What happens when the bus driver is actually competent at driving? Oh, my childhood enjoyed Clinton, but I wasn't paying attention back then. Obama even took Virginia, which hasn't voted Democratic since the sixties - and both of those sticky Bush states, Florida and Ohio. Isn't it all just amazing?

A wrinkle in housing

I got an application from the housing office and I'm filling it out and returning it pretty much immediately. I should find out in a week or two if I get in, and hopefully I'll just live in the dorms winter term.

There's a wrinkle, though. My landlords/housemates (is there a special term for when the person you're renting from lives with you?) OK'd me through finals week, but after that I have to be out. Move-in for the dorms will naturally not be until January. That's fine for my person, but I don't want to drag all my STUFF back to Portland and then down to Eugene again. Therefore, I need to find a storage business in Eugene to keep some of my possessions here.

If I don't get into university housing, well then I will have to find an apartment and have the choice of two inconveniences: paying rent for time I'm not really living there, or looking while I'm not living in the same city again.

Lab reports...

I got that lab report back a few minutes ago. And my score is... 93/100. I forgot to ask what the average grade was, but on the last assignment it was 78 and the curve is supposed to center around a C+ - so if my TA grades consistently then it looks like my numeric scores will correspond to letter grades in the typical 90/80/70 scheme. This week there is possible extra credit. I don't expect to get better than 100 because there are always little things to pick at in writing, but I'm hoping to break 95.

Also, I got 91% on my chemistry midterm. This is even better than it looks because in the honors class an A goes down to 88.

I am reconsidering taking two writing classes at once, because when I have writing assignments they take up a TON of my time. This week I actually had to stay home and do work when I would've otherwise messed around on campus because I had both a lab report and a women's studies paper due. If I take 18 credits with 8 of them devoted exclusively to writing, plus the lab reports, I might get really sick of writing papers.

Continuing sagas

My TA emailed me back and says his office hours are, in fact, at 3-4 on Wednesdays. He must have changed them since writing the syllabus. That definitely multiplies the facepalm factor of the previous post.

On the bright side: Señor Evergreen is coming to town, at the same time I am. Yay!

Walking is tricky today

My shoes have a little bit of a problem: they scrape my heels as I walk. I've had that problem with shoes before and as expected, it's gotten better as I walk in them more, but nevertheless I have a blister on my left heel that is healing only slowly because I keep walking in my shoes. In compensation, I've been shifting my weight toward the toe so it scrapes less. This has resulted in a sore spot of some variety around the seams of my left toes. So, my left foot isn't in great shape.

Now yesterday, in ballroom dance, we learned swing. Because I learned lead parts for waltz and foxtrot, I decided to switch to follow. Leads start with their left foot; follows start with their right. In swing, you do a whole lot of back-stepping with your starting foot - a quick step backward followed by an equally quick rock forward onto the opposite foot. I was having a lot of fun and didn't think much of it at the time, but this morning my right calf was seized up ridiculously.

Blistered heel and sore toe on my left, painful calf on my right. I can't compensate for either one without setting off the problems of the other! To top it all off, I walked up two flights of stairs at three o'clock to see my lab TA in office hours, only to realize that his office hours are at 3-4 tomorrow and were at 1-2 today. I don't know why I incessantly mix up my Wednesday and Thursday - my schedule is so different - but I do it perpetually. So I am unhappy about a number of things at the moment.

Housing

So, my room is good through fall term. That still leaves a question of where I'm going to live for winter and spring terms. I'm considering applying for on-campus housing for winter or spring term, but I'm not sure which. I'd like to live in the dorms, but I'd also like the to live by myself, which I may not get another opportunity to do for several more years.

I'm leaning toward applying for winter term, for these reasons:

1. Probably the greatest number of people who are going to drop out mid-year, will do so after fall term.
2. What's the point of doing the thing that will help me meet people at the end of the year when I'm about to (hopefully) transfer anyway?
3. If I have to look for an apartment to rent starting in January, I'll be looking for an apartment over Winter Break when I'm in Portland.

My only worry is that if I live in the dorms winter term, I will get lazy and not look hard enough for an off-campus apartment for spring.

Thoughts?

Chemistry - lab and lecture

Chemistry lab lecture today was a friggin' joke. The prof went over types of chemical reactions, and writing chemical equations. Are you kidding? This is stuff I did in 9th grade, in high school INTRO to chemistry. This has been the worst hour so far, but truth be told the lab lecture is boring as hell in general. Thank goodness for the demo guy, who sometimes makes bubbles or cool colors happen. I gotta find out more about the advanced lab, because if it's different then I am so outta here next term. I heard that the regular gen-chem class sucks, and I totally believe it. I'm so glad I got into honors.

Now I just checked my email and had an email from my regular lecture prof, saying the lecture slides for "tomorrow" were up. The timestamp:

Mon, 27 Oct 2008 00:17:58 -0700 (PDT)

The percentage of people who stay up past midnight on a Sunday is probably higher than I think it is. But I doubt that people who stay up past midnight on a Sunday are the kind of people who would be checking their school email religiously.

Math, and song lyrics

Got my math midterm back with a 98%. Had a few silly errors and one not-so-silly one, but I got enough points on the bonus question to recoup most of my losses. I don't have my chemistry midterm back yet but the prof says he should have them done by tomorrow. We don't have chemistry tomorrow, so I wonder if he has office hours and that's why he didn't just say he'll give them back Wednesday.

Also, here are the lyrics to that song I posted before:

http://www.mediafire.com/?lnwm4n4g0lz

Trick or Vote

I went to volunteer with the Bus Project for Trick-or-Vote, thinking it was a good cause and would be fun. It's one thing when you go somewhere expecting fun and it falls short of your expectations; it's another when it's actively unpleasant.

I didn't come for a dark, noisy costume party. I didn't come for a pep rally, or a role-playing skit reminiscent of badly planned 7x8 plugs in the middle of the all school gathering. I didn't figure on walking up and down what must be the steepest hill in Eugene for two hours, or trying to keep sight of someone without a cell phone while talking to voters, and I definitely didn't want to be yelled at by a 96-year-old guy who doesn't want anyone, ever, to leave flyers on his doorstep, which actually I didn't even do.

I met a cool guy who goes to U of O and ate some candy, but between 2 and 7 p.m. those were the only nice things that happened to me. I definitely would have been better off sitting in the EMU writing my next women's studies paper.

I wrote a song

Started writing a song last weekend, which I finished during the week and just recorded. Might be mastered a little quietly, sorry, but here it is:

http://www.mediafire.com/?0ocqu4dmqzy

Midterms, newspapers

Well, I just finished with my two midterms. Chemistry went pretty well. There was a combustion problem that was a pain in the ass and took about twenty minutes, and in the end I got answer with a bigger molar mass than what the problem said. I didn't have enough time to go back and find my error, but I'm pretty sure it was just something in the calculations for the percent of sulfur. I have a whole page of the right process, so I should get most of the credit for that problem. The only other issue was that I didn't finish the last problem, but I wrote down enough that I should get some credit for that too. I rocked the math exam; I got answers that made sense to everything except the bonus problem. I got stuck on that because I ended up with a negative discriminant in the quadratic formula, but it was the bonus problem. If I'm lucky, I might still get over 100%.

In other news...

Street preachers! They have them at PSU, and we have them at UO. Now, I'm all for free speech. The first amendment is an amazing thing and I would never want to compromise it. That said, it grates on my nerves when I have to listen to random dudes yelling about Jesus to people who are ignoring them every single expletive-deleted day.

I also was reading an article in yesterday's newspaper covering a "feminist roundtable on the election" that I wanted to go to but couldn't because I had class. It quoted someone who said as a black woman, she didn't feel like she'd been spoken to and shouldn't have to choose between two parts of her identity. I think that person is thinking about this election in a dumb way. I'm a white woman; by her logic, Sarah Palin should speak to me. Well... she doesn't. I really dislike her, in fact, and I'm highly enthusiastic about Barack Obama, my theoretical opposite. I admit that race matters more to minorities than the white majority here in the U.S., so I'll throw out that factor, but we are still left with gender. Nobody should have supported Hillary Clinton and then switched to Sarah Palin because they are both women; anyone who did, was doing wrong to their values in supporting one or the other. Identity politics have always existed, but to me it is ridiculous to give them enough weight to actually influence your decision in an election like this.

And one more article. Somebody left a New York Times at this computer with a small article titled "How McCain Hopes to Defy the Polls and Win." I started reading it but stopped in disbelief when I read this quote: "The McCain campaign is roughly in the position where Vice President Gore was running against President Bush one week before the election of 2000. We have ground to make up, but we believe we can make it up."

But wait... we got President Bush. Is this guy admitting that Gore rightfully won the election? Oh, there are ways to weasel out of that conclusion - "It was so close that a repeat could be anyone's game," "McCain has a week plus a few days," - but I still think it's pretty damning.

Wikilinks

So I was checking my email and I clicked on a conversation where I was talking about the EMU - the Erb Memorial Union here at UO. Because I have Gmail, little ads appear on the sidebar of my email based on words on the page. One of them brilliantly suggested that I try emu oil.

Well, I had to know what emu oil was. The actual web page was just flashy marketing so I went to Wikipedia to find out more. I started clicking links and read about the family of flightless birds to which emus belong, which then led me to the page about kiwis, and that naturally had a disambiguation link at the top to kiwifruit.

It turns out that while kiwi birds are native to New Zealand, kiwifruit are not! They are originally from China and used to be called Chinese Gooseberries.

Isn't clicking link to link fun?

First grade indications

Last week I got my first paper back from Women's Studies. I got a B. I wanted better, of course, but it was within my expected range for the first assignment back, and better than the average grade. I have some comments, and the instructor posted a document online describing the characteristics of A/B/C/DF essays. So, I have something to work with for the next one.

I turned in my first paper for chem lab last week, but it wasn't a formal lab report like we'll usually be doing so I won't be able to take much from the score. I'm not sure when I'll get it back anyway - probably today. But today the first lab report is due, and I submitted it yesterday. I feel like I did a good job editing it because I shortened a lot of things - condensing phrases into single words, deleting unnecessary descriptions, and making sentences less complex. I am probably most worried about my grade in chem lab because the class is curved, and I simply have no idea how good my competition is.

Incidentally, there's this program called SafeAssign intended to prevent plagiarism, where students submit their work electronically and it compares the papers to each other and to some repository of other publications. You can look at your "matching percentage" shortly after submitting your paper, and I was amused to see that my lab report matches 11% with the rest of the class. It also tells you specifically what parts match, and I found it even funnier that one of the matching parts was a sentence stating the mean and standard deviation of my data.

My first midterm exams are on Friday, in math and chemistry. I have some reason to be worried about math, simply because I keep making silly calculational errors - usually dropping minus signs. But, since it is a 50 minute exam as opposed to the 20 minute quizzes we've had, I think I will do better, and I definitely have the concepts. In chemistry, I pretty much feel like I'm on top of everything.

Because of these exams, I think, there has been hardly any homework this week. Theoretically I should use that extra time to study for said exams, but the way I see it, doing that in the middle of the week is a waste of time. I've already learned the material in class (my homework proves it), so all studying will do is make things fresh in my mind - and that "refresher" quality only works within about the same day, or better yet an hour or two.

I have a date to practice waltz and foxtrot with someone from my dance class. It is kind of funny because I chose to learn lead parts, while most of the class split lead/follow along gender lines. So, I am shorter than almost all the other leads and many of the follows I've danced with. When the instructor gives us an opportunity to switch, I'd like to learn some follow parts, but I don't want to switch unless I know a few people will switch to lead because there's already fewer of us. I can think of a few following girls who should be leads.

Major studies and major visits

Tomorrow, I am going to declare my major. I don't consider myself any more certain than I was before about studying chemistry, but I want an adviser in the department because the German professor that they assigned me as an undeclared doesn't know much about the science programs. I want to know, for example, whether I ought to take lab 228 or 238 next term. And I'd rather get my new adviser before asking my other questions too, such as whether I should take two writing classes at the same time. I'm thinking about taking WR 122 and 123 concurrently next term, leaving two slots open third term for whatever I want to check out.

I'm going back home for Halloween. I will go trick-or-treating with my family, I need to take my best friend to Pix, and if Señor Evergreen does make it back the same weekend I must go chill with him a bit. There may be other people to see and things to do, but those are the most important.

Going back home

I've been making plans with my mom for a trip back to Portland - tentatively scheduled (until my friend calls me back) for Halloween - and today my dad called and suggested he come down the freeway tomorrow to visit me and then my uncle.

I'm satisfied with my new haircut. It's practical and simple. I may get bored of it and go back to considering that pixie cut, but I like it for now.

My hair

My hair is getting to that point where it annoys me. It gets in my face; it's long enough to go behind my ears but doesn't all fit because it's so thick; it hangs down and brushes my neck incessantly. I'm considering a kind of pixie cut, short with some bangs and long pieces in front of the ears - but I'm probably not competent to do that myself. So I'll hold off on a really short cut until I think some more, but tonight I'm going to crop it to somewhere between my ears and my chin, because it is just driving me nuts.

Comments

K, so I was wondering why nobody ever comments on this blog and so I tried clicking on the comment link myself to see what was up. I guess the default for new blogs is not to allow anonymous comments, the trouble being if you don't have certain internet accounts that not everyone has you are considered anon. Anyway, I went into the settings and fixed that so if anyone wants to comment y'all should be able to do that, whether you have Gmail or OpenID or not.

Can Palin spell potato?

The general argument against Sarah Palin goes something like this: she doesn't have enough experience, her speech is inarticulate and insubstantial, and the office she's running for is "a heartbeat away from the presidency."

This is what people said about Dan Quayle, too, but there he sits in history, the 44th VP of this country. It makes me uneasy.

Dancing physicists, info desk guys, Columbus Day and more

Just as I logged in to update, a fire alarm went off in the EMU (student union). So I walked my butt over to Klamath hall and walked in circles until I found stairs, then in circles again until I found the computer lab - Klamath is one of those buildings that doesn't have enough windows or colored paint to keep your sense of direction. "Now theoretically," I said to myself, "I should be able to get to my lecture in Columbia without going outside." I've yet to see if I can figure out how to do that.

Minus signs are out to get me. They are sly little creatures and they like to slink out of sight mid-calculation. As one math prof said, "the greatest obstacle to progress in mathematics is the human inability to distinguish reliably between a plus and a minus sign." At least I am working with the abstractions of calculus in my notebook, and not applying the Pythagorean theorem on the radio.

During the hour between chemistry and math I once again studied with the physics major/crazy dancer for whom I will invent a creative name soon. We made up chemical compounds and evaluated their solubility, and he helped me with some math. I realized this morning that since I started needing help with math sometimes, I've never known anyone besides my teacher who could supply it. Now I'm no longer the highest-placed math student in my school, and it makes me so happy.

Yesterday I played the piano in the EMU and to do so I had to check out a key from an information office. I got to chatting with the guy at the desk, who is also from Portland, about TriMet and LTD. We traded email and he invited me to watch the debate on Wednesday at his apartment with some people, so that's what I'll be doing. Wednesdays are turning out to be the best days for me, even though I thought I would like Thursdays the best.

I'm trying to spend more time on campus lately, and do things here besides take class and study - even do some of my sitting-around-doing-nothing on campus. I've shifted my food budget partially away from home groceries and toward campus food to account for this, but I am still stubbornly resisting spending more than $5 for a meal. Anyway, I consider this idea to be "working" in terms of assimilating me into the community, because I met the info desk guy pretty much due to deciding to spend all Sunday at school.

Somebody wished me happy Columbus Day this morning and I just thought "oh... I didn't know it was." But later I passed by a table set up by a Native American cultural group and this cute little boy offered me a red ribbon to wear for anti-Columbus Day. I put it in my hair and thought about just how inappropriate it is to celebrate Columbus. I wished I had thought of that on my own in the morning.

Neptune

It's weird sometimes, the things we name and the way name them. Like planets. Take Neptune for example. What is Neptune? It's an unimaginably enormous ball of gas a couple billion miles away. And we named it after a Roman god. That's pretty weird if you think about it.

Those darn physicists

"I need my stick!" my chemistry prof exclaims. He is talking about the three-foot wooden dowel he uses to point at the projection screen. "Those darn physicists have taken my stick!"

The physics major in the front row chuckles.

"You should take something of theirs!" a feisty voice calls out from the back.

The prof grins. "I should," he agrees, searching the podium for something else to point with. I smile. This kind of rivalry is fun. I wonder if this spirit of fun is what sustains other rivalries, like the Ducks and the Beavers, to use an example now ubiquitous in my world. I'd like to think I've discovered an emotional commonality with a huge portion of the world, but I'm not sure if it's the same thing.

Contrast

Everything is defined by its opposite. You need a bad day sometimes to keep appreciating the good ones. You need to freeze your butt off for a day to reset your thermostat for winter.

Wednesday beat me up psychologically. In math we had a quiz, and I got completely stuck on a problem worth a quarter of the points. So I went home knowing I got a 75 at best, and when I went to craft center to start some pottery, I ended up more or less dissolving several lumps of clay with only one successful throw. Thursday morning, I had a sore throat and a cough. But it all made it that much better when I turned out two nice clay bowls in a row Thursday evening.

Yesterday, it was freezing cold. I had a scarf and a sweatshirt but I was still cold outside, always. So I put on a coat this morning and it was still freezing as I walked to the bus but at least I had wind protection. Now, I've left my coat in the chemistry lecture hall and can't go get it yet because there's another class in session. But compared to yesterday, the temperature really isn't too bad. After all, I evidently walked from chemistry to math without noticing I'd left my coat.

As far as the math quiz, well, I did get a 75 and I wasn't happy about that. But the good part is, I can correct it to get half my points back for 87.5, which is less than I should have gotten but not too impacting. It turns out my error was calculational and not procedural - and also not really really stupid, which I thought it might have been (on the order of substituting 2 for -2) - so I can prevent the same error in the future by practicing my polynomial division. No wonder I did it wrong, really - we had calculators on tests in high school and so I only ever practiced it for two weeks three years ago.

Confirmation of my writing abilities

My paper on feminism is due tomorrow. On Sunday night I wrote the first draft, and yesterday I sent said draft to my professor asking her to make sure the focus of the content is good, and provided that, my plan was to self-edit and then take it to the writing labs for a peer edit. This is what my prof told me:

"Your paper is definitely what I had in mind. I read it quickly but I don't think you need to take it over to ALS (though it might be nice to get their feedback). It seemed well written to me as it is."

I am very happy about this since I had done no editing since finishing it at 12:30 Sunday night. I don't know why, but for some reason I seem to write my most inspired first drafts at about 10pm. I am hesitant to actively try to exploit this however because in most cases I don't feel like doing ANY homework after about nine.

Modem

As I frustratedly watch my internet connection stall, I remind myself: remember 28.8K. Someday, being able to remember 28.8 kbps modem will be a sign of being old.

Rain, rain, don't go away... but maybe lighten up a little

The weather this fall is different from what I've come to expect. I'm not sure if this is because Eugene differs from Portland or if general Willamette Valley weather is just being weird this year.

For one thing, it's been raining harder and for longer than I've seen in a long time. Everyone knows we get a ton of rain here, but usually it's in the form of sporadic sprinkles - normally it doesn't pour, nor does it hammer steadily for hours on end. I think it's been raining for at least twelve or fifteen hours. I can't be completely sure, since I was asleep for part of it, but I went to bed to rain, woke briefly at five in the morning to rain, and it's been raining since I got up.

For another thing, we usually have a nasty section in fall where it's cold, windy, and actually pretty dry. I'm used to waiting until late November to early December for the first proper rain and for the gusty wind to die down. I haven't felt any strong winds yet, and as I said before, the rain is plentiful already.

I love chemistry

Just now I said something to myself that most people would never dream of saying: "Whatever, I can do this on the weekend. Right now I'm just going to have fun doing some homework."

Today between chemistry and math I hung out with that guy who dances from my chemistry lecture. He's a physics major and he showed me the physics reading-room. We talked about all sorts of things - science, picking a college, why people identify with sports teams - sometimes drawing pictures and diagrams on the whiteboard. It was a great conversation, the kind where you're really listening if you're not speaking, with moments of animated agreement.

The VP debate

I watched the VP debate last night, and I'm going to give a brief evaluation before I read what journalists and factcheckers think of it. First off, let me say Biden blew Palin out of the water, and I don't think that's just because I already support the Democratic ticket.

I'm not sure I had heard Palin speak before - and certainly not at length. Like George W., she is an earsore when she talks! She says "nucular," a choice that has to be deliberate after how much GWB has been made fun of. More offensively, at the beginning of almost every rebuttal she spoke in SUCH a condescending tone, warbling from low to high, as though patiently discussing with a child his/her naughty behavior. She didn't even integrate it well - a patronizing comment would be followed by an argument made in a level voice with little inflection.

Both candidates annoyed me by saying the same phrases over and over, and by focusing on their opponent's shortcomings in what I saw as an inappropriate proportion to their own merit. But when it came to replacing content with buzzwords, Sarah Palin won out. Based on GWB's tactics in presenting himself as a guy you'd want to have a beer with, I would have expected her to speak simply, but in fact most of her arguments were obscured by jargon while Biden was clear and straightforward. She also criticized Biden for "looking backward" when he talked about the failures of the Bush administration and whose predictions have been correct - but how is this any different than the comparing of records that all candidates have been doing for months?

When asked a question about what views they have changed due to changed circumstances, Joe Biden gave an interesting answer about federal judges. Palin more or less said "Sometimes I don't have enough support to do what I want, but I never actually change my position." I think she was trying to paint herself as solid and reliable - playing the "flip-flopper" card we all know from Kerry 2004 - but I thought she came off as arrogant and naive. When talking about Iraq, she said several times that she and McCain have a plan and someone in the room where I watching yelled out "tell us what the plan IS." She never got around to it, and Biden picked up on that saying "well, I didn't hear a plan" and following up with a description of his and Obama's. There was also a beautiful moment where - and I don't even remember what the statement was - Palin took something about Obama's record out of context and Biden put it thoroughly back in, adding that McCain voted the same way on the bill in question. If there was any single "knockout punch", I think that would be it. the

Also, there were just so many times when Palin didn't actually answer the question posed and/or brought up Alaska as an energy-producing state out of context. The only time I felt like Biden didn't answer the question was the one about the candidates' Achilles heels as VP - and of course neither one answered that question properly because nobody is going to admit to a weakness. Palin's response was still more over-the-top though, vociferously defending her bank of experience as adequate.

Something I found quite interesting is how both candidates flaunted their middle-class cred here. Although Sarah Palin may not be rich, I think Joe Biden's credentials are somewhat more relevant. Though Sarah Palin may claim middle-class values, her experience of the middle class is not average or widespread. She comes from a tiny town in a state that has little in common with the rest of the union. Yet she must make a point of it, because John McCain, as I was told the other day, has thirteen cars and almost as many houses.

And then there was the moment where Biden's voice caught for a second as he touched on a sensitive personal subject. (I will say Sarah Palin took a few below-the-belt jabs at personal topics, though I forget the specifics now.) I want to see how this is interpreted by the media, because when Hillary Clinton did that several months ago she was criticized for taking advantage of her status as a woman. That argument can't be made for Biden, but simple fact that it has been seen before as a female thing might spell danger; how many macho-men will be turned off by it?

All-day stream of consciousness

Today I was very contemplative. There wasn't anything particularly thought-provoking about the day except the dream I had in the morning, but I thought about everything. I thought about that dream - a dream where I went back to Portland and saw, in order but without a specific chronology, first my family, then my ex-boyfriend from high school, and last two of my friends that were a couple. Not my crazy night-owl friend from the big school. I thought about how I don't really mind acknowledging my oppression or my privilege, but it is awkward when I feel like I'm supposed to identify with some aspect of oppression yet actually don't. Everything I observed seemed to have significance - if not a thought-provoking quality then an aesthetic beauty. Even something as simple as steering my bike around a corner with my hands wrapped firmly around the handlebars and not poised to brake. Also the clouds, popcornlike, drifting slowly across the sky. I spent some time sitting at beautiful locations on campus, first doing homework and then just looking around. Listening to music. I thought about how my favorite state of mind is when I stop measuring my experience in words and numbers, when either thought or sensation overtake them. When two foci of my attention suddenly merge, and I don't have to tie them together, like in dance, when the steps and the music click together and it's not hard anymore. It's like those 3D books where two pictures sit next to each other and you cross your eyes, and once you have it right you don't have to struggle anymore to focus. I thought I might try to meet people over dinner, and I rode my bike to school for my afternoon class so I wouldn't have to think about the bus schedule at night, but I left campus before dark and ate dinner at home anyway. I just wasn't in the mood for people.

Fascinating chemical trivia

I learned a few interesting things in chemistry this morning:

Imagine a computer set to count one million integers each second, starting at one. To get to Avogadro's number (6.022 x 10^23) would take 19 billion years, longer than the estimated age of the universe.

Phosphorus was discovered by crystallizing the fumes from the residue of boiled urine. Furthermore, white phosphorus (the form discovered) ignites spontaneously in air, meaning the guy who discovered it must have spent a lot of time boiling pee - long enough to figure out to protect it from air - before he got to the point of discovery.

E-homework, nerdy dancers and banana biscuits

I've had all my classes now!

First in the morning is chemistry. I really like my professor, but I suspect I would like almost any chemistry professor. Next is calculus, which I wish didn't run four days a week, but the tradeoff is that the class is only 50 minutes and that is a very good idea for a math class. It's funny, in chemistry the prof griped a bit about the 80 minute lectures we have on Wednesday and Friday, and many of the students echoed him. I was amused because I'm used to classes being two to three hours long - even at PSU my French class was two hours. Both chem and math use an online service called WebAssign for some of the homework and although it sounded like it would be a pain, I find I like it. Both have been fairly easy so far because I already have background from high school (I expect math to be like this for a while), but I don't mind because I'm still figuring out how to organize everything.

Space opened up in ballroom dance, so I switched out of tap. Space opened up in writing too, but I decided I want to keep women's studies. The first class was interesting; she talked about the "wave" model of the history of feminism and gave us the assignment for our first paper, due next week. The grade I get will be a "moment of truth" to see how good my ideas and expression thereof really are. Dance I went to today and after climbing two flights of stairs three times looking for the room, I learned the basics of waltzing. I chose to be a "leader" because most people were choosing to be "followers", but when we rotated through partners I found a few followers who probably should have been leaders. I was surprised at how much exercise it was. It actually hit that aerobic-but-sustainable middleground that for me is overshot by running and undershot by biking and walking. I think swimming is the only other exercise I know that reaches a similar level.

Chem lab was predictable, we don't have any homework this week and we're just going to get a lab orientation on Thursday.

I haven't really made any friends yet, but I've met a lot of people and there are a few I keep seeing around. There's this one guy I find really interesting whom I first met at the lame (reminiscent of middle school) "stop-n-glow" dance, where he was dancing like a maniac to the dumb hip-hop. The next day he was dancing equally impressively to live rock at "Intermingle", and on Monday I saw that he's in my chemistry lecture. Then today on the way out of ballroom dance I met an older man who is coming back to school for his second bachelor's degree and we talked for a bit. I've also run into one person I know and three people I used to know, whom I didn't know were going to U of O - as well as the one person I was expecting to find here.

I went on my second big grocery trip today and evaluated my last one. One of my goals with my food was to generate a minimum of waste. The only things that went bad were about half a cucumber and some lettuce, so I feel like I'm doing pretty well. I made some biscuits last week out of the mix my aunt left me, and then I made another batch yesterday substituting a banana for the requisite egg. They were delicious and I pretty much don't plan to use eggs with this mix anymore. It also gives me a handy disposal route for bananas if I don't eat them before they get too ripe.

Oh, and on the bus today I heard the most hilarious ringtone. It was a drab voice - not quite a computer voice, but like one of those message recordings, and it said: "Hello. I am the phone. Answer me. Answer me now."

Added 10/1, 2:30 pm - a few things I forgot to include:

Although I am wary of the "freshman fifteen" (a quantity of weight I cannot afford to gain) I've actually been on the lower end of my usual weight since moving here. And in calculus, I am frustrated by the girl who sat next to me the first two days and calls out answers that are correct, but does it at about ten decibels.

Food and books

Things I've learned about food this week:

- Groceries are not as expensive as I think
- Eating on campus is more expensive than I think
- I don't eat cereal or oatmeal for breakfast
- I like yogurt and applesauce better than cereal bars for snacks
- Even half the rice I'm used to making is too much
- Wraps should be eaten fresh and not jostled in a bag
- Quesadillas are a good way to use up tortillas and cheese
- I don't want as much cheese and eggs as I thought I would
- No marinade is necessary if you eat your tofu with sweet chili sauce
- Salad is one of the easiest and least dish-intensive meals possible

I got all my books today. They are ridiculously heavy, cost what I would have considered a ridiculous amount a couple of years ago, and I will have to bring all of them to school on Monday unless I go home between classes to switch them out. Oh well. Deal with that then.

I have a schedule!

This morning I went to advising and, being undeclared, was assigned a guy from the German department. He didn't know too much about my chemistry or math questions, but seemed very impressed by my togetherness and told if I consulted an adviser from the appropriate department they would surely be glad to have me. We put together a tentative schedule involving chemistry (honors or general), chem lab, calculus, writing, and a 1-credit dance class to break it up.

I went to the department of chemistry and asked them about the honors course. I was surprised at how easy it was; they said I could go ahead and sign up as long as I was taking calculus, if there were still seats left. Well, I logged onto Duckweb at one o'clock sharp and grabbed the last seat in honors chemistry. Score! I also registered smoothly for calculus, and staked out a spot in tap dance hoping to later drop it for ballroom dance. As far as writing, though, I am exempt from WR121 and all sections of WR122 and 123 are currently full. So, as a placeholder for those four credits I signed up for WGS 101: Women, Difference, and Power. Now that I am signed up, I am thinking perhaps I will put off my writing until next term even if space does free up, because the class really sounds interesting and engages an area I haven't chosen to study very much before.

As it stands, I take chemistry lecture MWF mornings and math MTWF after chemistry and about an hour's break - then dance right after math MW. Monday afternoon I have a short chemistry lab and women's studies class; the women's studies class repeats at the same time on Wednesday. Then Thursday I have my long chemistry lab at noon and women's studies discussion in the late afternoon. Thursday is going to be an awesome day if my schedule doesn't change.

Schedule? Advising? Placement!

Today I did not actually get to go to advising or get my classes as I expected; that will happen tomorrow. I did, however, get a class catalog and some information about my placements in the basics.

My SAT verbal score exempts me from the first term of introductory writing, so I can go ahead and take a more advanced writing course. This pleases me because I would have had to wait until spring to take WR121, due to being a freshman and having a last name near the end of the alphabet. If I want to continue in French, I can drop right into 301 because of my PSU credits. And my placement test indicates that I can take any math I want. It suggests I take either the discrete math series or a calculus series, and says I "may" be a candidate for honors calculus. I don't know if I want to take honors calculus; I'll talk to my adviser about it tomorrow.

The jury is still out as to whether I can take honors chemistry. Some older students told me I have to be in the honors college, but the course catalog says it is reserved for the honors college and strong prospective science majors. I think it may come down to it just being full already, but I'll just ask tomorrow.

So, after looking at everything today I think my schedule will look something like this: chemistry lecture and lab, calculus, writing, and a freshman seminar or other fun, less-than-4-credits elective.

It was really funny when it started to rain today, because everyone commented on it. I forget that a lot of the people at university aren't from the same climate. Less funny was the girl who was complaining about it loudly on her cell phone. I wonder what hot, dry state she comes from because from a Portlander's point of view, it was downright pleasant. A half-hour of sprinkles on a still, 65-degree day? I'll take it!

Meeting people... sort of

So today, nothing on the Week of Welcome schedule applied to me except a presentation on opportunities in music and dance, which started at four in the afternoon, and the art museum on campus, which is open from this day forward it looks like.

I went to campus and I went to the art museum, hoping to meet people. My friends at other colleges keep telling me, "if you want to meet people hang around the dorms." I reply that it's no use hanging out by the dorms until people move into the dorms, and most people aren't allowed to until Thursday.

The art museum was pretty and interesting, but completely deserted. I wandered around campus for a bit and then lost track of time scoping out textbooks at the bookstore. I missed the beginning of my music-and-dance presentation and I was about to give up on meeting people and go home, when I met a few on the bus. They were talking about how horrible dead-baby jokes are. So I followed them to Office Depot and then back to campus where the residence halls were having an ice cream social. (I don't understand how they expect people to be there two days before move-in, but I guess it works 'cause there were a lot of people there.) I talked to some more people, one of whom seemed cool enough to remember.

Note to self: bring more snacks tomorrow. I never realized how much I eat in between meals - here, I eat a meal and then go somewhere and am surprised to be hungry two hours ahead of my next usual mealtime. Dietarily it's not bad to be hungry for a bit, but descending blood sugar takes away all my drive to socialize.

Internet

I now have internet at both home and school. I need to fix this bug, though, that requires me to restart Ubuntu after changing the network configuration before the internet will actually work in the browser. I should also clean all the Norton and other updating/subscribing crap out of my Vista partition so it annoys me less, and install the Windows-compatible software U of O gave me.

And I am now here

Well, I spent my first night at my house in Eugene. I moved in yesterday. My housemate with the room next to me is awesome, he brought us a sticky-rice dessert he made while I was unpacking and is fun to talk to.

Today there isn't a lot to do at school, but I got my student ID and got my laptop on the wireless network, which is what I'm using now. While riding my bike out to campus, I passed over the Peter DeFazio nonmotorist bridge, and through a beautiful section of waterfront. Later, I'm going to make sure my ATM card has been fixed and then go grocery shopping.

I keep thinking I should hurry up to get things done, but it's perpetually way earlier than I think because my room is bright and I am alone in town. I got up at about eight o'clock, and without people to see, I have no plans for later and am spared the time-waster that is waiting for friends to call back. I only have my list of stuff to get done eventually: go to Week of Welcome stuff, shop, keep decorating my room, file my senior year papers, update my voter registration.

I can't wait to get my classes and have them start. Life has been slowed waaay down this summer and especially the past couple of weeks - and I think this week is when it will reverse and speed back up again. Anyway, the slowness was awesome for a bit, but my brain is getting bored. The last thing I did that really challenged me was calculus.

Some of my last adventures in Portland

Yesterday, I hung out with one of my friends for the last time before college. He's moving today and I'm moving tomorrow. He and I form an interesting symmetry around Portland; he lives in SE and is moving north, whereas I live in NE and am moving a similar distance south - and both at more or less the same time. I was also amused to find out he's changed his plan of study to environmental science, which is what I put down as my likely career field when they asked all the National Merit Scholars about it. He's really cool and I'm going to miss him.

Then, I remembered just in the nick of time to visit my old science teacher who moved to a different school. I'd been meaning to since K-12 school started back up here, but I just don't do anything in the neighborhood of her new school. It's the first big high school I've walked into and thought "this place might have been nearly as cool as where I did go." I didn't like the look of the school where I took my SATs, or the PSAT junior year, or even my neighborhood school that much, but I liked this one. It was good to see my teacher again and I'm glad I did get down there eventually.

The agenda for today is to finish emailing people I need to email, make sure my overdue library books get returned, pack the rest of what I'm bringing while listening to In Utero, and hang out with one more friend who I may or may not have to badger... he's been kind of flaky lately but he has a couple things I need to get back. Oh, and change my address with the DMV and anywhere else I can remember. I did my bank yesterday and it was a pain...

Nirvana

I recently found out that Courtney Love went to my high school - because a teacher who has been there since 1972 remembers her. I don't know for how long she attended, but the revelation prompted me to research her a bit, and by association Kurt Cobain and Nirvana.

Nirvana is definitely what my parents would call a "need to know band." I've known some about them, and I've certainly heard their music - but without it being identified to me, so I couldn't recognize it. I decided to find some of their stuff and start listening to it. So far, it is very much my style! I can recognize similar elements in contemporary music I like such as the Red Hot Chili Peppers' Blood Sugar Sex Magik and the Afghan Whigs' Gentlemen.

Something that astounds me is that Kurt Cobain's body was found on April 8 1994. I have a specific memory of talking to my parents about my 4th birthday as they tucked me in the night before - April 8 1994. It is incredible to think that the world learned about his death on a day I actually, specifically remember, despite being too young to know or understand myself. That as this memory of mine played out, my parents either knew or would soon be finding out about the tragedy.

Open-source audio players and .m4a

Most of the Linux users I know use Amarok. I think it's okay, but the way its functionality is organized doesn't make sense to me. So one time when it gave me an issue I started using Rhythmbox, which I liked better. But it had a problem - a certain album I had wouldn't play or load in the library. I looked at it and found that they were all .m4a files. I then found a codec that allowed it to play one of the files, but it still wouldn't load them into the library. Exasperated, I opened up Amarok, but apparently it now considers all of my music unplayable.

I went online and found a third program - Songbird. It's very much like Rhythmbox or like iTunes. But it has the same problem: it will play my .m4a files if I go to the trouble to open them from their folder, but it won't add them to the library.

This is really frustrating me. I can't decide if I should look for still another music player, or if I should find a program to convert to another format, as others on the Ubuntu forums have thought. I just want to start building playlists in Linux, but Magical Mystery Tour has some of my favorite songs!

Large Hadron Collider

http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2008/09/10/black-hole-cern.html
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2008/sep/10/large.hadron.collider

The Large Hadron Collider went online today. Some of my friends were going to have an "end of the world" party, but since they aren't actually doing any collisions yet, it's been postponed. I read a comic today whose joke rested on science nerds using this as an excuse for a party. But you know, if the world were actually going to end, I think I'd rather be at home with my family.

I like the point the guy makes at the end of the first article, that if people get hyped up about black holes and find out about this accelerator, then more people might get excited about the stuff physicists are going to be able to research with it. I wish I had more scientific background to understand the second article better; I didn't know that the Higgs boson had anything to do with the origin of mass.

It's pretty incredible that humans have managed to create technology that lets us study this kind of thing, and that the technology is SO big while the particles are SO small. I wonder what the energy consumption of the LHC is?

Eugene, part 2

"I need to call EVERYONE I KNOW," I thought. And then I remembered - that's what my blog is for.

Of course, since I didn't have internet most of yesterday, I ended up calling quite a few people anyway. Here are some of the things I wrote waiting, or on the bus back to Portland:

"I got a place - I signed the agreement this morning and I have the keys in my purse, sitting next to me on this bus. It's not my own place, but it's a room in a vegetarian house with a couple and another person. Besides being veggie, the household suits me because they are well organized; for example they have a chore rotation with a detailed list of what to do and where to find supplies.

I would have preferred my own place, but the second studio I saw also wanted a one-year lease and furthermore, this room was extremely low-hassle. They didn't even require a co-signer, and hence I was able to finish with all the formalities before leaving Eugene. They may be moving to a new house in the six-month range, but they are solid through definitely November and probably December. So, even if I have to find another place later, I'm good through most to all of first term and it will be less difficult because I will have a couple months of rental history."

There is a part of downtown Eugene that has lots of amazing murals, and I took pictures on my phone of the first one I noticed, but quickly realized there were many. I wanted to post a picture, but it's not working for some reason and I don't want to fix it right now. Maybe later.

I have one more weekend in Portland, and then the weekend after that is probably when I will move. This is going to be amazing, but there's so much I want to do before I leave.

A trip to Eugene, part one

I'm sitting on a bed in a hostel in Eugene. I don't actually have internet right now; I'm going to post this when I go downstairs after I rest my feet a bit.

I arrived here yesterday on Amtrak. I had an appointment to see a room that was probably too far in the spaghettiesque South Hills anyway, but someone else saw it earlier in the day and took it right away. About an hour ago I saw an apartment that I liked, but they wanted a 1 year lease which doesn't work for me. I have two appointments so far for tomorrow: a room and a studio, I think.

Before my appointment today I walked around Eugene. I started out for the libary because the internet here was on the fritz, and on the way I passed by a nice apartment complex. I picked up a flyer and I like the floor plans and the price, so I'll probably stop by during office hours tomorrow to see if there are any studios available.

I'm not actually quite sure how I got to the library because I got directions from a few different people, all of which were approximate. But eventually I got there, and discovered it's right next to the bus station. I sent off an email and headed east across the big residential rectangle west of campus. Tired, I finally stopped at the edge of the UO campus to read Dune for a while.

I had no idea that Jambo had more than one store, but evidently they do and there's one right next to U of O. I love Jambo!

I dragged back across that residential rectangle but didn't find anything. I walked past the place I had the appointment with and stopped back at the hostel for a bathroom break and to refill my water before I went to see it. Now I'm back, hot and tired.

Today has highlighted something: I don't know WHAT I'm going to do besides school when I live here alone. It's five-thirty; I don't have any more appointments and even if I recheck my sources and make some, they won't be today. Normally I'd have dinner with my family and then hang out with friends - but those people are all in Portland. I don't really feel like reading my book because I already read some earlier. Should've brought two.

Addendum: I now have internet and am posting this. Serendipitously, a friend of mine I haven't talked to in a while called just as I was bemoaning my boredom. Thank you, universe!

Chaperones

On Friday, I'm going to be an "adult chaperone" for my high school as they go to the zoo.

I don't really like the zoo, but I think it's hilarious to be a chaperone at literally the first possible opportunity after graduation.

Still looking for a place

I had an adventure this weekend.

I didn't really want to. I wanted to stay in Portland, but after not getting that apartment I had to look for some more. Now normally my dad would just take me south for the weekend, but he had something going on Saturday and my mom was going to drive me there.

I failed to get any appointments for Saturday, but I couldn't just stay in Portland because there might be new ads on Sunday morning. This put me in kind of a bad mood because there was specific hanging out I wanted to do and I did not want to put it off all weekend. I complained a little bit and my mom suggested paying gas money to my friend to drive me down there. I wasn't even sure he'd want to drive that much, but he was into it. We hung out in town a little while, then drove down I-5 to Salem and visited the waterfront before heading to my dad's.

The plan had been to stay at my dad's overnight, and then we'd drive to Eugene in the morning. By chaotic luck, my dad had a work situation encroaching all the way into Sunday and couldn't make the drive to Eugene anymore. So it ended up that my friend took me to my uncle's house in Corvallis on his way to his brother's in Eugene. (I almost could have stayed there, but they weren't necessarily spending the night.) My uncle took me to Eugene to go apartment hunting in the morning, drove me up to Salem and we had dinner with my dad before he drove me the rest of the way to Portland.

I saw one apartment, and I like it even better than the apartment I didn't get last week. The previous one was a studio that might have been a remodeled garage; this one is one side of a duplex with a bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen. It has laundry and a little bit of space in the back as well. I really hope I get this one, not only because of the time crunch but because it seems just perfect. I hope this is one of those "meant to be" things and not a "wishful thinking" one.

In the event that I don't get this apartment, I'll have to take a midweek trip which will be a pain in the butt. But I'll have to look at some rooms, and I'll have to contact some property management companies, which have mostly been closed on weekends thus far. Both these places I've looked at are with independent landlords, and I prefer that, but they're not as common, or at least not as easy to find on the internet.

Obama's VP

"She got millions of votes, but she's not on his ticket. Why? For telling the truth." Or something like that is what the McCain campaign is saying about Hillary Clinton in a recent ad.

And it's crap.

Hillary Clinton is not Obama's VP... because she pisses people off. Republicans have hated her for a long time. In the primaries, she pulled some catty stuff that turned a lot of Obama supporters against her. A couple of days ago before Obama announced Biden, I was talking to one of my friends and he said if Obama picked Clinton as his VP, he might not vote for Obama. Between her strong personality and previous tactics, she's very divisive and that is exactly the opposite of the message the Obama campaign has been trying to send.

It's a shame, because in my opinion she would complement Obama's strengths quite well. Where he might be naive, she is realistic; where she might be distastefully conniving, he can act straightforwardly. Of course, I know there are many who would debate this with me - but my point is even though she might be an asset in office, she would be a definite liability in the election.

Also, is America ready for a black man AND a woman? I hate to acknowledge the factors of sex and race underlying this election, but they're there, and I bet that was considered in the decision.

And with regards to Joe Biden: I've heard a few people who are as miffed about Biden as my friend would have been about Clinton; they say they might not vote for Obama now that he's picked Biden. These dopes need to realize that despite the "Democratic ticket", president and vice-president are actually separate races. They can vote for Obama and vote for someone else (maybe give the Green party props) for VP if they can't bear to vote a straight ticket.

Vote Obama, everyone.

--

Update on the apartments: I applied for an apartment last week and came close to getting it, but not quite. I'm trying to see some more this weekend.

Apartments

I'm looking for an apartment to rent starting between ASAP and mid-September. And it turns out that looking for apartments is a) boring and b) difficult.

I just called five places I wanted to set appointments with. I got the following five responses:

1) There's an application pending, and we're not open on weekends.
2) Busy tone.
3) No answer, but I did leave a message on the answering machine.
4) The place has already been rented.
5) The place can't be shown yet because it's still occupied.

So I've gotten zero actual appointments out of it all. I think I'm suffering from the fact that the research is a bit stale (done last weekend) and this business is even more first-come-first-served than I thought. I'll have to just look through some more listings and hope that newer ones will pull through.